can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize