do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
