I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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