Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize