I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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