i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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