I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
