Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Are my feet made of real feet?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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