Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
