I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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