You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize