she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
What drink are we having for lunch?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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