Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
