god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
why is half of my head shaved?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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