You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
