that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
