ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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