Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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