Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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