Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
