what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
