I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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