He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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