You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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