And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
How drunk are you?
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