My hand turned me down
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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