Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
