i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
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I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
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Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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