I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
