I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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