so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
