it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
