The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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