Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
