im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
