He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
