you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
