Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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