i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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