Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
