Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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