it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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