so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
