If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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