you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
