There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
