the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
