is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Randomize
