No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
