I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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