I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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