i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
