Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
