She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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