Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
