Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
