drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
