$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
