whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
