I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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