Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
