Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
