i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
