Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
