Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
