The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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