ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
