Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You need a sexual gate keeper
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
